After setting independent policy on a number of issues such as businesses opening on Shabbat and asylum seekers, Tel Aviv Mayor Ron Huldai announced this week that the city would recognize same-sex marriage. Tel Aviv wants autonomy, and we are here to help it make a proper declaration of the first extra-territory in Israel -- the State of Tel Aviv.
"We, the residents of Tel Aviv, are tired of the state of Israel. From Rothschild Blvd. to Rabin Square, from Metzitzim Beach to Ganei Yeshoshua, from the Gay Pride Parade to Sukkot dancing with a Torah scroll, from the Imperial Bar to the café, here our identity has been shaped: wild, freedom-seeking, anarchist but just, white, pink, and full of pride.
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"We are tired of the State of Israel, which rather than being cool like Tel Aviv, has become conservative, traditional, overbearing, right-wing, and annoying. In the political reversal that took place over 40 years ago, we lost our secular hegemony. The murder of Rabin, which took place over 20 years ago, stole our dream of peace. The endless Netanyahu government has made us realize that even after an endless election cycle, we have no chance of returning to power.
"The chances that have come to the nation caused those who are willing to suffer living in half dark room, or who have rich parents, to move to Tel Aviv. The original Tel Avivians, and the ones who support our vision from outside, have strengthened and upheld the Tel Aviv spirit. While the rest of the citizens of the nation have been left behind, falling down the dark path of religion and establishment rule, we are strengthening light and progress. In light of all these events, and with the establishment of a new government that has shelved any hope of change, we hereby state that we do not care what the nation wants or does, and from now on we will make our own laws.
"Accordingly, we, the members of the Tel Aviv City Council, under the leadership of a mayor who has ruled the city for longer than Bibi has ruled the country, are here assembled, and based on the 'anti-Tel Aviv' attitude from Jerusalem, we hereby declare the establishment of a free autonomous entity in the heart of Israel, the State of Tel Aviv.
"The State of Tel Aviv will have ties to the State of Israel only when it suits it, and will continue to receive funds from it. The rest of the time, it will make its own laws, values, and aspirations in the free spirit of its residents.
"The State of Tel Aviv has thrown off the restrictions of the oppressive status quo and decided on a Jewish-democratic-liberal identity. It will work to institute public transportation and business activity on Shabbat. It will even set up a registry for married couples and decide who can love whom, and how much. The State of Tel Aviv extends its hand to the greater Tel Aviv metropolitan area, but also to Jerusalem and the unenlightened periphery, and calls on them to adopt its ways, or at least come visit occasionally. Out of belief in human beings, we thank the State of Israel that has brought us thus far, and from here, we'll go it alone."
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