Recently released Israeli hostage Tal Shoham has broken his silence about the harrowing 505 days he spent in Hamas captivity, describing severe deprivation, psychological torture, and his determination to maintain his humanity throughout the ordeal.
Shoham, who was kidnapped from Kibbutz Be'eri during the Oct. 7, 2023 attack, spent over eight months in an underground tunnel and five months shackled in different houses, where he endured starvation, isolation and abuse, but remained resolute in preserving his dignity.
In an interview with Fox News Digital, Shoham shared he was determined not to lose his humanity even during his darkest moments. "I am not a victim. Even if this ends, I will end it with my head high, looking death in the eyes. They won't break me, and I will not surrender to self-pity. We are stronger than the other side," he told the news outlet.
Now three weeks after his return home, Shoham described the stark contrast between his place of captivity and freedom, telling Fox News Digital that Kibbutz Be'eri is just nine kilometers – about 5.5 miles – from Gaza, yet the short distance represents an immense divide. "Half-an-hour's drive, two separate worlds," he said. "The first – unbelievably surreal, cruel beyond reason. And just 30 minutes away [on this side of the border], a world of sanity, logic, dignity and compassion."
Shoham shared his story to raise awareness about his fellow captives who remain in Hamas hands. "Just as someone emerges from a womb alive, I emerged from the tunnel I was held in and was born again," he said. But he remains deeply concerned about Evyatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal, whom he calls his "brothers" who are still held underground. "I can't sleep at night knowing they are still there," Shoham explained.
Describing the day of his abduction, Shoham recalled entering a safe room with his family as the Hamas attack unfolded. When terrorists approached their hiding place and began prying open a window, he feared they might throw in a grenade. "I went out and raised my hands," he said. "A man with murder in his eyes led me onto the road and to a vehicle. I saw about 40 heavily armed terrorists. Some of them were filming me on their phones. I was in shock – there was an entire battalion of Hamas terrorists inside our kibbutz, bodies of people I knew who were murdered on the ground, and they are laughing, unafraid."
After being thrown into a car trunk and driven into Gaza, Shoham faced a hostile crowd. "Teenagers with sticks ran toward me, trying to beat me from all sides," he recounted to Fox News Digital. His captors attempted to force him to kneel for execution, but he refused. "I said, 'I can't control whether you kill me or not,' and I raised my hands – but I refused to kneel. 'If you want to kill me, kill me, but you will not execute me like ISIS.'"
Shoham described being paraded through streets in what he called a "victory march" while people shouted "Soldier! Pig! Zionist!" He maintained his composure throughout. "A mob gathered around, boys with wooden clubs trying to hit me. But I just waved and smiled. I didn't show fear. 'You've captured me, but you won't see terror in my eyes,'" he told the news outlet.
For the first 34 days, Shoham was held in isolation in a family home, always shackled and severely underfed. "For the first three days, I had pita bread. Then, they stopped giving me that," he said. "Food supplies dwindled. Some days, I would receive three spoons of avocado and three dates, or half an orange from a tree in the yard."
The psychological torture of not knowing his family's fate proved even worse than his physical suffering. "I am 40 years old. Never in my life have I experienced suffering like this. The isolation, being alone with relentless thoughts – that was worse than even extreme hunger," Shoham told Fox News Digital.
To cope with this uncertainty, Shoham made a heart-wrenching decision. "I had to accept that my family was dead," he explained. "I sat on the floor and imagined myself at their funeral. I stood in front of a grave – one large for my wife, and two small for my children – and I eulogized each of them. I thanked them for the time we had. I told them to move on. I sobbed but didn't let my captors see me cry. That was the hardest thing I've ever done – burying my family in my mind."
On his 34th day of captivity, Evyatar David and Guy Gilboa-Dalal joined him in the house. The captives were allowed only about 300 calories daily, with Shoham's weight dropping from 174 pounds to 110 pounds by the time of his release. "We couldn't move from our beds or talk. We whispered everything," he said.
A glimmer of hope arrived on his 50th day when Shoham received proof that his wife and children were alive and had been released. "I read it, my hands shaking," he recounted. "The most important thing had happened – my family was safe. I didn't need to be a father and husband protecting them anymore. Now, I could focus on my war, the one I knew how to fight, the one for survival."
By June 2024, Shoham, David and Gilboa-Dalal were moved via ambulance to an underground tunnel where they joined another captive, recently released Omer Wenkert. The space contained four mattresses, a hole for a toilet, and a single dim lightbulb. "It took me weeks to stop feeling like the walls were closing in, to adapt to the oxygen deprivation," Shoham shared.
The captives received just 300 milliliters of water daily – slightly more than 10 ounces – which they had to choose to use for drinking or washing. Rice was their only food. "Hamas never stopped digging tunnels," Shoham said. "Not for a single day."
The conditions led to severe health issues. "My leg turned blue, yellow, and purple with internal bleeding," he recalled. "They gave us all blood thinners, fearing we might develop clots from prolonged immobility. Eventually, they realized the issue was malnutrition and provided us with vitamin supplements for seven days. It tasted like dog food, but it dramatically improved our condition."
In February, Shoham and Wenkert were named in a hostage release deal. When finally led outside after months underground, Shoham – still blindfolded – felt moisture on his face. "Is it rain?" he asked. "No," his captors responded, "It is dew." The moment held special significance: "And I realized, my name, Tal, is 'dew' in Hebrew. I felt the morning dew on my skin."
Upon returning to Israel, Shoham was reunited with his wife Adi and their children Nave and Yahel. "It was a dream come true, yet it still felt like a dream," he said. "It took a few days to fully grasp that it was real. It was hard to take in. The emotions flooded me, like I was floating above everything."
Shoham also learned that eleven members of his family were kidnapped or killed on Oct. 7. His wife's father, Avshalom Haran, and two uncles, Lilach and Evyatar Kipnis, were killed. His mother-in-law, Shoshan Haran, and other relatives were taken hostage, some later released.
Despite the horrors endured, Shoham emphasized the dignity maintained among the captives. "Among us, the Jewish hostages, there was purity," he said. "There was dignity. The terrorists brought in whatever horrors they wanted, inflicted whatever cruelty and pain they could, imposed their inhumanity on us. But within our space, we preserved our inner cleanliness, our humanity between one another. And that was crucial to making it out unbroken."
