America's leading late-night television hosts abandoned their trademark wit for raw emotion following Donald Trump's decisive victory in the presidential race, delivering unusually somber monologues that reflected the deep divisions within American society.
In the 24 hours following the election results, three prominent late-night hosts – all previous backers of Kamala Harris – confronted the new political reality with uncharacteristic gravity.
"We had the choice between a prosecutor and a criminal, and we chose the criminal to be president of the United States," Jimmy Kimmel declared in an emotionally charged monologue, visibly fighting back tears. "More than half of this country voted for the criminal who's planning to pardon himself for his crimes... It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hardworking immigrants who make this country go, for healthcare, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech.
"It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors who rely on social security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the truth, and democracy, and decency. It was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him, and guess what, it was a bad night for everyone who voted for him too, you just don't realize it yet."
Stephen Colbert delivered an even more pointed commentary, "Well, f***, it happened again. After a bizarre and vicious campaign fueled by a desperate need not to go to jail, Donald Trump has won the 2024 election. The deep shock and sense of shock is enormous. All day yesterday I was walking around proudly wearing my 'I voted' stick. Today I wore my "I am questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of humanity' sticker.
"As a late-night host, people often say to me, 'Come on, part of you has got to want Trump to win because he gives you so much material to work with.' No! No! No one tells the guy who cleans the bathroom, 'Wow, you must love it when someone has explosive diarrhea. There's so much material for you to work with.'"
Seth Meyers contributed his perspective through equally stark metaphors, "I was watching the results come in because I couldn't sleep and it was like Christmas Eve if on Christmas morning you're either gonna wake up to find that Santa left presents under the tree or just took a huge dump in your fireplace. If you're lactose intolerant, don't drink the milk, you know...
"I don't think Donald Trump's a good person. I'd even go so far as to say he's a bad person. In my defense, I'm only basing that on everything I've ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad. I accept that half the country thinks he's a good person or they don't care that he's not because they think he's a good president and because of that he's going to be our president again. That's how democracy works in America, a country that is a privilege to live in, even on a morning like today."
