In an era of growing social divisions in Israel, the Barmi family of Modiin represents a unique bridge between the religious and secular worlds. Attorney Oren Barmi, 44, and his wife, Neta Goshen-Barmi, 44, have built a life that seamlessly blends their different backgrounds while raising their three children to appreciate both traditions.
The Home: A five-bedroom townhouse with a garden in Modiin's Cramim neighborhood. The row of houses is tucked away, accessed through a parking area. A charming small path leads to the house. While each child has their own room, the family spends most of their time together in the living room.
Good Morning: The day begins around 7 a.m. Each morning, one parent prepares sandwiches and food for the children, each with different preferences for their lunch contents – "nothing spreadable except chocolate." They wake the children, and Neta drives them to school on her way to the Paatei Modiin train station for work. Oren usually leaves around the same time for his office, though sometimes he stays back to pray and have coffee at home before departing.
Students: They met during orientation week at the Hebrew University Law Faculty in 2002. Groups were divided alphabetically, putting Neta Goshen and Oren Barmi in the same sections with shared courses throughout. "We formed a tight-knit group of six or seven really good friends who lived the true student life, just like in TV shows and movies. Always going out together, hanging out. We were part of the group and good friends with each other."
Ponytail: Oren had a ponytail when they met, while Neta sported short, spiky red-orange hair. Oren took interest in Neta quite early, but she only "discovered" him, as she puts it, the day her mother gave him a haircut and removed the ponytail, which Neta found unattractive. "We started dating immediately after that."
Blend: They dated for four years, and while studying for the bar exam together, he suggested one evening that she change out of her sweatpants and dress up nicely. She immediately suspected a marriage proposal was coming. They married in August 2007. This wasn't a typical union, as Neta came from a secular background while Oren was Modern Orthodox. "From the beginning of our relationship, we needed discussions about how our shared life would look, where the children would study, and what the wedding would be like. Indeed, at every stage, you can see the blending of our two worlds."
Hot Plate and Pot: During Oren's first Shabbat at Neta's home, he arrived with a Shabbat hot plate and a pot. When she was invited to Friday night dinner at his parents' house as a surprise for his birthday, she thought "Shabbat evening" meant Saturday night. "It's worth noting that both our families embraced our mixed relationship beautifully and lovingly from day one, and that's our part in bringing hearts together to this day."
Phone and Television: The children's daily life follows religious practices: they observe Shabbat, keep kosher, pray, and so on, while Neta's secular lifestyle is present in the home. She uses her phone on Shabbat and watches television in her room. The prevailing discussion at home is that children will shape their own path when they grow up.
Consulting and Problem-Solving: Neta is an employment law expert and partner at Arnon, Tadmor-Levy, working from the Azrieli Towers in Tel Aviv and occasionally from their Jerusalem office. She provides ongoing counsel primarily to major companies, tech firms, and startups, represents clients in court, and handles company acquisition deals. "I truly love my work and enjoy it, along with the company and atmosphere at the firm."
Oren is an attorney specializing in a niche field: municipal taxation. He co-owns an independent firm with partner Haim Goldfarb. The firm serves major companies across all sectors, dealing with property taxes, development levies, and various municipal fees. "The work involves ongoing consultation and numerous proceedings in appeals committees and administrative court petitions." Oren deeply enjoys his field and the challenge of 'cracking' each case to find the best legal approach for achieving favorable economic outcomes for clients.
Modiin: Initially, they lived in Tel Aviv, at the corner of Dizengoff and Jabotinsky. Oren promised they would move when their first child was born, and when Yonatan was one month old, they relocated to an apartment in Modiin. They chose Modiin for its proximity to family and the city's character. Neta's parents live in Maccabim, one of her sisters lives in the area, and Oren also has a brother in Modiin. "Additionally, given our religious-secular background, we knew Modiin had a school that integrates religious, traditional, and secular students, which was one of the important factors for us."
According to them, Modiin proved to be a wonderful city for families and raising children. "It's like a rural city, full of gardens and green parks, activities, and families in similar situations. We're part of the 'Yachad Community,' which has many activities outside school, including community Sabbaths, which are the crown jewel. We're also part of the 'Orot HaCramim' synagogue community, which has numerous activities and especially makes Sabbaths enjoyable. We've made many friends in the city, and lots of children constantly visit us."
France: Oren was born in Paris to a Religious Zionist family and had two older brothers. In 1984, when he was four, the family decided to immigrate to Israel. "All this while his father was already a doctor of psychology with a clinic and work, and his mother was already ill with cancer, and without knowing any Hebrew. They chose to settle in Rishon LeZion to avoid living in a concentration of French immigrants." They started from scratch, jobless and spending their time in Hebrew language classes, until slowly building their lives in Israel. Oren attended a religious elementary school and a religious high school in Rishon LeZion. In the army, he served in a communications role in a classified Air Force unit.
Maccabim: Neta was born in Rishon LeZion, the middle of three daughters, to a very liberal secular family. In 1986, when she was six, her family decided to move to the then "remote" and new settlement of Maccabim before the city of Modiin or the settlement of Reut existed. Neta served in the army as an education NCO in Shivta and later as an education officer in Har Gilo. She knew she wanted to be a lawyer since third grade.
Schnitzels: Yonatan loves basketball, playing regularly twice a week in a program ("not really a team"), and has even attended NBA games during his bar mitzvah trip. He enjoys hanging out with friends in the city center of Modiin. Nadav plays table tennis in a club and sometimes even beats his father. Rotem studies drama and loves making schnitzels and meatballs, hoping to become an actress or pastry chef. "Thanks to her strong interest in reading the 'Home Visit' column, we're here."
