Last week, Shani Louk was supposed to celebrate her 23rd birthday. But instead of throwing a party for a young woman who loved life, art, and music, her family organized an exhibition in her memory four months later Shani was brutally killed and then paraded by Hamas terrorists in Gaza on Oct. 7.
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Shani was killed at the Nova music festival, her boyfriend was taken hostage and remains in Gaza, and their friend, Keshet Casarotti, 21, was also killed.
The Louk family decided to show the world the poetic soul that Shani had, the drawing talent of the tattoo artist whose entire life was ahead of her, in an exhibition called "Forever young Forever art" that launched at the Gutman Museum and was curated, among others, but Shani's aunt, Rinat.
Footage of Shani being paraded around Gaza at the back of a van filled with Hamas terrorists, unclear if dead or alive, was one of the firsts to emerge on that dark morning on Oct. 7. After three long weeks, the family was informed that Shani had indeed been killed.
Through the exhibition, the family chose to commemorate Shani, who loved art from a young age, taught herself how to sew and design her own clothes, and enjoyed painting, sculpting, and poetry. In recent years, she opened a studio for artistic tattoos in her unique style, drawing inspiration from geometry and Japanese art, whose symbols she used in tattooing.
Shani's mother, Ricarda (Rikki), 53, a German citizen, moved to Israel after falling in love with Nissim, Shani's father. The two had four children: Adi, 25, Shani, Amit, 20, and Or, 14.
The two met in Thailand, Rikki converted to Judaism, and they built a home in Srigim. Rikki works at Intel and Nissim in real estate.
Shortly before the launch of the exhibition, we meet at the museum whose falls are filled with Shani's drawings. With a smile, Rikki tells about her daughter, who never dreamed of exhibiting in a gallery or museum, but would surely be happy if she saw an exhibition of her art.
"Shani always loved to draw, she was a very creative child, already at a young age she went to a sewing and design course and loved to sew her clothes," Rikki said. "She went to fashion exhibitions, and in her youth was drawn to tattoos. She always wanted to get a tattoo, but relative to a tattooist she had few, because we in the family are not big fans, and my husband is traditional, so it was postponed until Shani turned 18, and then she thought about what she wanted to do.
"In the end, she tattooed herself a little on her legs and hands, in the places she could do it herself, mall things, and about a year ago she went to someone else who tattooed something bigger under her knees, a geometric drawing. She planned to get a big tattoo on her back. I have a picture of what she planned to get, also something geometric because she was very attracted to geometric shapes.
"She loved Tel Aviv and moved into an apartment with roommates. Then she started learning to tattoo with a professional tattooist, took a few lessons, started to develop it, and opened a studio in her apartment. She had a neat corner with a tattoo stand, and she started to advertise herself and in the process worked in all kinds of other work. In addition to tattoos, she always liked to draw. She would sit with me at the table and draw while talking, she didn't want to make big paintings, she didn't dream of publishing them. She realized that it was difficult to make a living from art, so she went in the direction of tattoos. That way she could design and paint while also earning a living."
Q: And now her artwork is being exhibited at a museum. What do you think she would say if she knew?
"She attended a high school for the arts for a year and a half, where they had painting, writing, and theater lessons, but that was not her dream. Specifically, I don't think she intended to be a painter, but I'm sure she would have loved the exhibition. She wanted to be famous, to model, to be successful with tattoos, to design things. She always dreamed of something big, and wanted people to know who she was."
Q: The entire world came to know Shani, under tragic circumstances. Do you feel that perhaps through the exhibition you are leaving Shani's mark on the world? Showcasing her talent?
"Yes, it's about showing the world what she left us. Not every 22-year-old girl leaves behind many things that can be shown, and she left behind so much, her beautiful paintings are full of depth, and I wanted to show the world what beautiful things she did."
Most of the work Shani left behind was discovered by her mother when she came to clear out her belongings from the apartment in Tel Aviv, a painful and difficult moment in which Rikki was exposed to another part of her daughter's life.
"It was difficult. Right after the shiva [mourning period], my husband didn't want to come, so I took all the children and we went to the apartment in Tel Aviv. I thought maybe the children would want to keep something of Shani's to remember her. For myself, I took jewelry and paintings. There were notebooks that I later looked at. There were few texts, very little poetry, but a lot of drawings, small and large. I collected them all in one binder and saw that they accumulated into an impressive amount of beautiful things. So I came up with the idea of making an exhibition because I felt it was so beautiful that it would be a shame not to show it to the world.
"About a month ago we talked about the fact that Feb. 7 is Shani's birthday. I didn't want to have a sad celebration at home with family and friends, and I thought that maybe we could do something with these paintings, and showcase them somewhere. My sister-in-law, Rinat, who is an artist, got excited about the idea, she started to inquire and found the Nahum Gutman Museum. They asked to see the paintings first, and after they liked the pictures, we agreed that the opening would be on Feb. 7 and we would invite friends and family."
Q: Feb. 7 was, in essence, not just Shani's birthday but the 4-month anniversary of that dark day. Can you share with us what you went through on Oct. 7?
"The evening before we spoke with Shani, who was with us in the beginning of the holiday after returning from Greece. Her boyfriend, Orion, had just returned from Mexico. They had been together for eight months. He lives in Europe and travels the world, organizing festivals. They traveled a lot together, all summer they were at music festivals in Europe. He is still captive. We have never met him, because she always traveled with him abroad, and I said to her on the holiday, 'Maybe you guys can come over for dinner?' She hesitated and said that their friends were playing and they were going to see them, but that next week they would visit together.
"Attending the Nova festival was not planned. It was a spontaneous decision. Other friends of theirs came from South America and they decided to go there. At 6:30 in the morning, when we had a rocket siren, I realized that something was wrong. All the other children were with us and I said to my eldest daughter, 'Call Shani, ask if she's going to the shelter'. I didn't know she was still at the party. Shani answered the phone and said that they were leaving the party, taking the car, and going to a safe place. That was the last thing we heard from her.
"At first we weren't too worried, we thought they would get out of there and find a shelter, but after an hour Shani didn't pick up the phone, we texted her on WhatsApp as well and didn't get an answer, and a little after 10 o'clock we came across the horrible video of her in the back of a van in the streets of Gaza. We immediately recognized her because of the tattoos and dreadlocks. It was unclear from the video whether she was dead or injured, she was lying face down, half-naked, surrounded by Hamas terrorists, a terrible video that her ex sent to my son, who immediately burst into tears and shouted 'It's Shani.
"I immediately cried and we all screamed, it was crazy to see it. We realized that they were driving through the streets of Gaza and everyone around was rejoicing and celebrating, we didn't know if she was alive or not, we hoped she was alive. There was chaos all over the country, the police didn't answer us. More videos started appearing, and because Shani has German citizenship, and she has a German passport like me, we called the German embassy and showed them the video. They gave us a contact.
"In the afternoon we saw that someone tried to withdraw money using her credit card in Gaza. I received a message on my phone and I sent a video to Germany asking them to help us, that our daughter had been kidnapped. It was one of the first videos distributed that Saturday and was published not only in Germany but throughout Europe.
"The next day, still no one had contacted us. We were under the same pressure, we didn't know anything, and we started being interviewed, mainly abroad, on all channels. We emphasized the fact that she is German, we wanted to put pressure on Europe. At one point we received a sign of life, which we didn't know whether it was true, from someone who went to look for her in hospitals. He told us that she was in a Hamas hospital, seriously injured in the head. We hoped it was true, that it was some sign of life.
"This hope lasted for three weeks, during which we continued to be interviewed. I went to Berlin, I met with politicians, with the chancellor, the foreign minister, the heads of all parties, and a lot of journalists. They were very emotional and showed solidarity toward Israel and toward us. They said that negotiation processes were starting, they went to Qatar, Egypt, Turkey, but it didn't change much, and after three weeks they came to us from the IDF and told us that they found a piece of her skull, without which it is impossible to live. They found it in Israel, which means that when they transported her in a car she was already dead."
Q: Heartbreaking. How did you cope?
"I admit that after the three weeks that we had, there was some relief because those were three terrible weeks, in which I was constantly thinking about what could be done to help her. On the other hand, I was constantly imagining what she must be going through. I hear crazy booms at night because here we hear everything, and I keep imagining where she is. Is she in a tunnel? Is she in a hospital? What condition is she in? I'm constantly worrying about her, and suddenly when they told us there was something in it that said – the nightmare is over, and we were comforted by the fact that she died in the beginning, that she didn't suffer much."
Q: There were also reports of sexual abuse of women. Surely you must have thought of that too.
"Sure, I kept thinking about it, and I keep thinking about the young women who are still there, for so long, that I don't know how they will come back, in what condition. It's hard to imagine. I hope they didn't hurt Shani because she died early, her video went up really early. We know they left the party early, she was driving with Orion and another friend, Keshet, who sat in the back. They drove 15 kilometers to Mefalsim, where they got stuck with other cars.
"There was probably an accident because a few minutes before 7 a.m. they called Magen David Adom. That call was recorded, in it Keshet asks them to come, says that his friend, Shani, is injured but conscious, and that there are a lot of damaged cars. A few minutes after 7 he called again and asked where they were and why they didn't come. Then we found out from Keshet's family that he was also injured, and at some point caught a ride and continued to another intersection, where he was killed. Orion stayed with Shani, in Mefalsim, which is really close to the Gaza border, and that's where they kidnapped them both."
Q: You learned that your daughter was killed, but her body is still in Gaza. You said in earlier interviews not to endanger the lives of soldiers to return Shani's body. Do you still feel that way?
"Yes. We said we would wait a year. If there is no body by Oct. 7 of this year, we will build a grave with the findings that are here, because as far as we are concerned, she is gone, and the body will not bring her back. Shani is in heaven. If there is a body and it is possible to bury it, we will bury it. If there is not, then not. We will build a tombstone and a grave and we will be able to visit it, and it will be fine. The body is something that is meaningless to us, and I don't want to risk the life of any soldier for a body."
Q: Does your husband, who you said is traditional, feel the same? How does he reconcile this with the religious importance of burial?
"He is of the same opinion. Even in religion, life takes precedence, and if it endangers life, it is not justified. We are doing our best to return the body, I know we are, but we are not ready for it to be at the expense of someone else's life."
As part of diplomacy efforts in the world and her travels abroad amid the inferno of the last few months, Rikki returned about a week ago from New York, where a Torah scroll was dedicated in Shani's memory.
"My husband and I went to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a very well-known rabbi and media person in the US, who connected with Shani's story. He has been in touch with us all these past months. He has sons fighting in Gaza, and he interviewed us several times and decided that he was making a Torah scroll for his mother who passed away a year ago, and that he wanted to add a second name to the scroll. He invited us to the ceremony. It was a very big event, many Jews from New York attended, including members of the Kennedy family.
"In addition, I met leaders in Israel who came from Germany. We are in contact with the ambassador all the time, and I have also been on two trips to Germany as part of hasbarah."
Q: Do you feel that the fact that Shani held German citizenship helped your efforts?
"In Germany, Shani is really famous, she was in every possible newspaper. They all interviewed me, and journalists from Germany came specially for the exhibition. Her story was one of the first stories that came out that Saturday, and because of the shocking video her story touched many people, and for three weeks everyone hoped along with us. When we were at the event in New York, everyone knew her story and hugged us, it mainly made a lot of noise in the world. My husband is now in Denver and New York, as part of a delegation of the Jewish Agency. They continue to the United Nations as part of the outreach in the world."
Q: Are you in touch with the family of Shani's boyfriend, Orian?
"His parents are divorced. His mother is in France and his father is in Mexico, and we are in contact with the father. My husband is constantly talking to him. We have never met, only on the phone, and he really hopes there will be a hostage deal."
Q: Speaking of deals, there are various reports in the media about a potential agreement in the works. What do you think about this?
"First of all, I don't know how the families are coping. For me, it was three weeks and I felt it was unbearable. I think about this all the time. Even in our outreach efforts abroad, we keep talking about the fact that they must be brought home. A deal should be made that would see the release of the hostages alive. This is the top priority, it is one of our values. I know that such a deal can take a heavy toll, but Israel is strong and creative enough to overcome these difficulties later. If we stop the fighting now for a few weeks, it will certainly make it difficult for us, but the main thing is that they get the hostages out."
Q: You moved to Israel, converted, and built a life in this complicated country. Do you ever regret your decision?
"I don't regret it. I didn't grow up Jewish, I came from a Christian family and converted. I feel completely Israeli, and I wouldn't change a thing. I love being here. When I was now in Germany, my family told me, 'Why are you returning to a place where there is war, stay here.' I told them that I feel the safest in Israel, that everyone understands everyone here, and that there is solidarity here due to the situation. There is strong antisemitism abroad. When we were in Berlin, they just set fire to a synagogue and vandalized doors and closed the embassy that day."
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When I ask Rikki at the end of our interview what she misses most about Shani, she replies, "I want her to come back." And when the flow of tears that were held back until now burst open, she says, "She was abroad a lot and always came back. Sometimes it feels like she's coming back soon, but she's not. I want you back. She was a peppery girl, with a temperament, funny, and very active. After she was murdered, we heard a lot of stories from friends and found out how much she cared for everyone, lifted everyone up, and built whole groups around her. It was very beautiful and emotional to hear."
