The past year was a year rife with statistics, but one figure was particularly chilling: Twenty-five women were killed by a spouse or a relative in 2020. March, the month during which the coronavirus pandemic erupted in Israel in full force, was the deadliest for women, claiming five victims.
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Studies have already shown that the nationwide lockdowns – three so far – imposed as part of the efforts to curb the spread of the virus, have seen a troubling spike in domestic violence incidents, all gruesome and some tragically deadly.
Things may not be better in 2021: the country was recently rattled by the murder of Diana Raz, 35, who was shot multiple times by her police officer husband, and the horrific attempted murder of Shira Iskov, 31, who against all odds survived a murder attempt by her husband, Aviad Moshe, who beat her with a rolling pin, strangled her and stabbed her 20 times with a kitchen knife.
Her life was spared thanks to Adi, a neighbor who heard her screams and heroically broke into the apartment, even before calling the police.
Iskov filed for a divorce as soon as her medical condition allowed, but Moshe refused, seeking to chain her to him despite having tried to kill her.
This would have left Iskov an "agunah" (literally "anchored") – trapped in her religious marriage as determined by the Halacha – Jewish law – which states that a divorce, or "get," must be given of the husband's free will.
Aware of the circumstances, Rabbi Daniel Edri, chief rabbi of the Haifa and president of the rabbinical court where the petition was heard, blocked the husband's attempt and granted the divorce.
The grim statistics and authorities' apparent impotence in dealing with domestic violence, spurred a wave of protest nationwide, led by women's groups fed up with the government's hollow promises.
Now, these groups have put forward a series of initiatives seeking to vanquish the domestic violence and femicide plaguing every sector in Israeli society for decades.
The Haifa's Women Coalition, which now comprises 17 women's groups, champions women's rights, promotes awareness, and supports women victims of domestic and sexual violence.
The coalition was the brainchild of Isha L'Isha ("woman to woman") Haifa Feminist Center. Founded in the 1980s, Isha L'Isha is the oldest grassroots feminist organization in Israel and one of the leading voices of women's rights in the country.
Renowned activist Rela Mazali, one of the NGO's founders, told Israel Hayom that in 2009, she conducted a study into the private security industry that developed in Israel during the 2000s, prompted by the terrorist events of the Second Intifada.
The findings, she said, inspired her to partner with Attorney Smadar Ben Natan to act on the issue of ridding the civilian sphere from firearms.
"This was an action that was clearly taken from a feminist standpoint, but we know that women were not the only victims here. Women were victims [of gun violence] at home, but men could be victims of an incident in the public sphere – an argument in a parking lot, for example – someone could get riled up and have a weapon on hand. That's why getting weapons out of homes is a life-saving step.
"In 2013 we were able to get a current law actually enforced, by which a security guard has to leave his firearm at work – they can't take it home with them," she continued. "The result of this enforcement was that between 2013 and 2017, no one was killed with such weapons."
That changed in 2017 when a series of terrorist attacks prompted then-Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan to issue a provisional order allowing security guards to carry work-issued weapons after hours.
"Five murders using these weapons have taken place since," Mizrahi said.
Q: What is the coalition doing about it?
"Three weeks ago, we sent an urgent letter to Public Security Minister [Amir Ohana] demanding that the presence of firearms in the public sphere be reduced," she said, noting that the coalition has been able to get the Tel Aviv Municipality to issue an order by which firearms issued to security weapons will be collected after the shift.
"The Haifa Municipality passed a similar decision, and the Maghar Regional Council [a Druze-majority mixed town in northern Israel] is also debating a similar move.
"In the broad context of violence against women, removing weapons from the home is a relatively technical and simple step that can have far-reaching implication," she explained. "There aren't many simple steps on this issue that can be performed like this and it saves lives."
Q: Do you encounter resistance or cooperation?
"Nowadays it's easier for us to get information from the Public Security Ministry, but the data is still very lacking."
Shift the paradigm and change will follow
The Michal Sela Forum, formed in the wake of the murder of its namesake, a 32-year-old woman stabbed to death 11 times by her husband in November 2019, is another group seeking to end the grim circle of violence.
The group was founded by Sela's sister Lily Ben Ami. A public activist on women's issues long before tragedy struck so close to home, Ben Ami said domestic violence in Israel follows a pattern – and patterns can be changed.
"Once we create the tools with which to fight this pattern, violence against women will become a thing of the past," she told Israel Hayom.
"The first project, which was held in collaboration with the Welfare Services Ministry, we called 'Under the Covers.' During the investigation of the murder, a police officer told me that they could have prevented it despite the lack of physical signs of violence. He said that had Michal had just filed a complaint they would have referred her to a shelter.
"The police and Social Services have a threat assessment chart but it wasn't accessible to the public. The first thing we did was change that. Now everyone can find it simply by looking up I-Risk online."
The Michal Sela Forum recently presented the Justice Ministry with a new initiative, called the "Esther Protocol," named for Esther Ahronovitz, 70, who was murdered while serving her husband with divorce papers.
"This procedure is for lawyers," Ben Ami explained." "When they take on a [divorce] case they'll need to ask several specific questions, like before you get a vaccine and they ask you if you have any allergies.
Q: Aren't lawyers aware of these things?
"Experience has shown that's not always the case. For example, a lawyer should ask his client if the husband accepts the separation or whether she's afraid of a radical reaction. Did he threaten to harm himself if she divorces him; does he keep tabs on every minute of her day and any other types of extreme behavior."
The questionnaire, she said, was crafted with the help of experts in dealing with domestic violence.
The forum has also pursued cooperation with the former Israel Security Agency officers, by which women who are threatened will be afforded protection from security companies.
The forum has also created a project for women who are at the highest risk, called "Michal's Dogs."
The project partners at-risk women with dogs trained by Shelley Sliternick, a former officer with the military's elite Oketz Unit the IDF's canine special forces formation. The dogs are trained with their prospective owners so that they can offer them the best protection possible.
Q: What are the costs involved in this project?
"With training, each dog costs about 70,000 shekels [$] and we have an ongoing crowdfunding campaign. This, by the way, is much cheaper for the state than sponsoring a woman's time in a shelter.
"As for the rest of it – our organization has 70 position-holders, two as part-time employees and the rest are volunteers. I volunteer full-time. This is my mission now. We can defeat domestic violence and we can save lives if we just think outside of the box."
Violence by any other name
Shelley-Or Amir is an abuse survivor. Seven years ago, she found the strength to walk away from a 17-year relationship.
"After Michal Sela's murder, I was approached to assist the Forum, and I started seeing women through this process," she says.
"My goal is to focus on the early stages of the problem; to help women see the reality of the relationships they're in, and to help her break any patterns that could lead her back to similar relationships – that's the real change."
Q: What are the patterns you have detected?
"Most abusive men suffer from some type of pathology – patterns of behavior that are characteristic of specific behavioral disorders.
"Women involved in such relationships are overly codependent – addicted to the relationship and the cycle of violence. He is the one who humiliates me and he is the only one who can heal me – that's the pattern," she explained. "This is why I have to look out for the warning signs in me."
Q: Isn't that blaming the victim?
"No. I propose placing the focus on you – are you in a healthy place? That is good for you and helps you grow? If he doesn't make you feel good about yourself then you shouldn't be with him. That's violence by any other name.
"The thing is, the word 'violence' is deterring. People hear it and they immediately want to move on," Amir explained.
"Some [abusive] men won't hit you – but they will be obsessed with getting the 'right answer' to a certain question or listen to recordings of your conversations [with other people] and they make you dependent on them."
Many pathologies can trigger this behavior, she said, stressing that "I don't want to deal with the pathology – just with the woman's health.
"Many times, the conversation on the media focuses on the fact that there were no preliminary signs' so what could have been done? The signs are how you feel about yourself within the relationship.
"If there are markers of being addicted to the relationship – when you can't even contemplate the thought of breaking up despite knowing he's not good for me you, it's not only because it [the relationship] is abusive but also because you have an addictive pattern of staying in a bad relationship.
"Many women who come out of such relationships are treated in rehab groups because it doesn't really matter what you're addicted to. That's what we focus on – going from dependence to independence. A woman who understands her part within the relationship will no longer recreate the pattern."
Small solutions make a big difference
Social and political activist Carmen Elmakiyes Amos and human rights attorney Sapir Sluzker-Amran have been working together to promote the rights of single mothers and combat violence against women for over a decade.
Their latest endeavor, "Breaking Walls," was born over the past year.
With the coronavirus pandemic, they found ourselves finding individual assistance to hundreds of women who are victims of domestic violence and also needed things like food assistance and changing locks.
The two focus on women who fear leaving an abusive relationship over their inability to support themselves and at times, their children. They educate these women on their rights vis-à-vis the state, including securing public housing and income assistance.
Another activist they work with, Kobi Bracha, has put together a hotline that helps local authorities respond to emergency calls from at risk-women.
"If a woman in danger calls 100 [the Israel Police emergency number] it sometimes takes a while until someone responds," Elmakiyes said.
"Kobi has created an emergency line for a designated call center, by municipality. Once a woman calls it, a volunteer immediately picks up and someone will get to her within minutes. This initiative can save lives."
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